I'm back! (Part 1 - back to the UK)

Gosh, has it really been so long? As always, I don't intend to stop writing, it's been an especially interesting time. There is much to catch up on so I'd best get started!

So, my last post was sharing my news of pregnancy and impending trip to the UK at the beginning of May. The end of April meant the beginning of the summer holidays here - 9 loooooong weeks of extreme heat, bored children and still trying to work is *fun* to say the least. Anyway, I had just one week of holidays before jetting off to the UK for my visit.

C and K planned to take a little holiday too, just a few days after I left, heading down to Kodaikanal which is a former hill-station about 8 hours drive South of Auroville. Each summer, Auroville youth (aged around 8-14) attend a nature camp there and a number of our friends were taking care of the kids so it seemed like a nice idea to tag along. Due to it's location, high in the mountains, the climate is much cooler and a perfect place to visit during the scorching summer months. It's also where C was born but that's beside the point...

On the morning of the 7th May, we headed to the snack bar for my goodbye breakfast - iddlies, vadai with sambar and coconut chutney. Delicious! 

The taxi to Chennai airport was booked for around 3.30pm so we had a few hours together whilst I gathered my last minute items. It felt really surreal to be leaving my family, even if only for a few weeks. The taxi arrived and we bundled the bags in the boot and one last hug and kiss to C and K and I was off!

Both times that I visited and then left Auroville (in 2008 and 2012) I left with a lump in my throat and this time was no exception. I kept reminding my self that it was only for 3 weeks, how good it'd be to see my friends and family as well as how my boys would be fine without me. I guess a part of me was nervous about doing the trip alone too, having never flown alone before. Still, the occasional reassuring kick from baby stopped me from feeling too sad and I took in the view whizzing past as we went on our way.

It was peak Jackfruit season so we drove past many piles of these gigantic fruits for sale by the side of the road. I'm not a fan of their taste but I love how they look...

Not my photo, just to give an idea of their size

We arrived at Chennai airport around 6pm, somewhat earlier than expected due to a rustic shortcut from the driver. Still, it gave me a chance to get my bearings, work out where my luggage would be checked in and settle down to a snack and a read of my book. I was once again struck by how much these past 2 years have changed me, I'm so much braver, sure of myself and it's a nice thing to appreciate, I started to look forward to the next few hours of travel and see it as an adventure.

Finally around 9pm, with luggage checked in, we all boarded the plane. We took off just after 10pm in the smaller of the journeys, landing in Abu Dhabi at around 1am. This flight was on a smaller plane and there was a big family with about 6 kids, grandmother, husbands and wives in the seats next to me and one of the kids kept moving from seat to seat and generally being a nuisance. Having been awake since 6am that morning, I wasn't feeling so tolerant but reminded myself that at least I wasn't needing to be responsible for anyone but myself.

We landed in Abu Dhabi and had just enough time to find the next terminal for the next flight at 3am. Then off we went in our larger, more comfortable plane. As luck would have it, my seat planning had paid off (I chose isle seats near the toilet, a tip I got online for travelling when pregnant) and I share a row of 3 seats with a chap who sat by the window and promptly fell asleep meaning I had an extra seat, pillow and blanket for the journey (the same location on the flight home reaped the exact same arrangement).

Finally, 7.30am the following day, we landed in London and I was home! I thought about how when we left for Auroville in Sept 2013, I'd not known when I'd be back. With face washed and freshened up as much as one can do during a long haul flight, I entered the airport and into a new world where I was no longer in the minority. In India, I will always be a tourist due to my skin colour and in a number of ways, I don't mind that but it was nice to experience anonymity again, not to be presumed rich, not to be targeted by beggars. To be just another face in the crowd.

I got my luggage and made it to my coach with a minute to spare and then onto the next past of the journey, 3-4 hours drive up to Nottingham to see my grandparents. The journey was spent taking in the grey and green landscape and dozing. I arrived around 2pm (I think??) and met my grandparents who got me home where I could shower, change and rest. It was so nice to see them again after two years and a few Skype chats. I slept so well that night!

I was quite jet lagged those first two days but felt better for Sunday, when we had lunch with my aunt, cousin and her children. One last day with my grandparents and I was off onto the next stop across to my grandma and uncle who like just over an hour away. I spent a lovely 2 days with them, joking and laughing with my grandma and enjoying my uncle's company. We even took a nice stroll through the lush green fields which I found so stunningly vivid and bright. These family visits are usually accompanied by C and K so it was a fantastic experience to have my family 'all to myself' for these few days.

Almost a week after landing I said my goodbyes and headed on the first of 3 trains on my way to Somerset - my home for a large portion of my life. As the train pulled away I felt quite strongly that I might not see my grandparents again. After all when you live in India and earn the equivalent of around £60 a month, it's not easy to plan regular trips. I felt lucky to have had this chance to spend some quality time with them all. Anyway, I shook such morbid thoughts away and thought instead of seeing my sister, nephews and friends and how much fun it'd be.

My two weeks in Somerset were a bit of a blur compared to the slower pace of the first week. For a start, I didn't have a steady place to stay so spent a few night on sofas but was lucky that an old friend of mine rents a house but spends every other month away working and when he is home, he stays mostly with his girlfriend, another dear friend of mine. This meant I had an empty house for a good few days which gave me some respite in between the visits, chatting and socialising which was ideal since I'm somewhat introverted and need quiet time.

First stop was my sisters, it was so good to see her, her partner and my two cheeky nephews again. They were happy with the hand-carved wooden swords I had a friend in AV make for them!

The next day was spent seeing my group of closest friends, I was so happy to see how I just slotted back into my little circle as if I hadn't really been gone for nearly 2 years. Here we are (my sister with the red hair). Seeing my friends felt like the biggest thing that I missed in a number of ways. I have a few friends here but it's not the same and nothing beats a good laugh and the chance to talk rubbish with people who truly 'get' you. I'm very grateful to these lovely ladies for that.

I also thought I'd best have a 'full English' whilst I was away. This is the Weatherspoons veggie version cos' I am classy, innit. 

Staying mainly at my friend's house meant a good 20-30 minute walk to get back into town so I did get plenty of exercise during my stay. This was quite a difference to life in India where I rarely walk anywhere preferring my bicycle or motorbike. It did me good though and I got to see a beautiful double rainbow for my efforts.

My walks also took me past some familiar places that somehow seemed more picturesque in my absence. Here is the beginning of the canal from the dock area. 

King's Square, next to the council offices.

The canal from above

I also spent a couple of nights at another friend's parent's house. They live just outside of Bridgwater and have a stunning house and garden. We actually had our wedding reception in their field. It was another lovely experience, waking up to this view, eating freshly baked bread, meeting their new tortoise, seeing the garden in full bloom and spending time with my oldest friend and his two kids who came down to visit at the same time.

I also got to spend a day in Bristol to see another very dear friend of mine and C's. I love Bristol for it's culture, diversity and graffiti! 

My friend and his 'wall of equations' as part of his studies :)

Nice bit of street art on our way to have dinner.

The night before I was due to fly back out, one of my favourite groups, Sheelanagig were playing at the Bridgwater Art centre. It was an opportunity not to be missed. As luck would have it, I entered a Facebook competition and won 2 tickets for the show! They have such a witty, foot stomping energy that it's impossible not to dance. We had such a fun evening. I've missed seeing regular gigs since moving away. There's not such a music scene here unless you live in a city so I've been starved of live music and enjoying a dance for too long!

The next day I was due to leave Bridgwater by coach at 1am. We managed to gather a good few people for lunch and it was such a lovely send off. 

Then it was time for goodbyes and a final evening with my sister. It was strange saying goodnight and goodbye at the same time since I was leaving while they'd all be asleep. Despite feeling sad I was also looking forward to seeing my boys again. We'd managed a few Skype chats but I just wanted to be home with them again. 

The journey home felt longer, I had been awake the whole day of the 31st May, travelled to London arriving in the morning of the 1st June and then landing back in Chennai at 5am on the 2nd. I left the airport dazed and fell into the taxi with my beautiful boys by my side who had woken at 2am to come pick me up. Here's the sunrise on my journey back to AV.

All in all, I had a heartwarming, joyful visit back home and one that I cherish for all the wonderful times spent with dear ones who I miss. It was also really good for me to have those 3 weeks apart from C and K. I think we all appreciate one another more as a result. It also assured me that AV is home to me now. Even if the average temperature of my first month back was 38 degrees, it's still home.

I'll be back soon with the next installment.

L xx

The reason for my absence these past weeks...

Hi there, it's been an interesting few months and I've been so caught up in things that I've hardly been in the right place for communicating. Finally I feel it's a good time, we have a day off work as it is Tamil new year. It rained last night for the first time in about 4 months. There is a sweet, wet scent in the air, the morning sun is shining and I have some Banco de Gaia playing as I type.

At the end of Jan, I discovered that me and C are expecting our second child. It was unexpected but we're not unhappy about it as I always felt we had room for another in our family and although C always said 1 was enough, he is also happy. K will be almost 6 when this one arrives and we feel good about the timing. We're settling well here and this brings a new richness to our experience.

I found out early on, at just 5 weeks. My time and work at Eco Femme has given me a better insight into my body's cycles and changes during the months. We had to keep things quiet until 12 weeks as those first weeks are where the risk of something going wrong is most high. I'm not good at keeping secrets so became a little reclusive to get used to the idea and to bide my time.

I had just a little nausea in those beginning months, nothing much although I had none at all with K. Now at 4 months I am feeling good and have the beginnings of a bump starting (at the stage where I just look overweight!). 'Pregnancy brain' has kicked in and I'm very absent minded - it's quite a zen-like feeling. I'm constantly in the present!

The other big news is that we had planned to visit the UK as a family in winter but with this little one coming in Sept/Oct we decided that I would make a quick visit alone in May to see all my family and friends before coming back to have the baby here and to remain here for the next few years. I'm excited to visit after almost 2 years away. I will miss my boys who will stay here, but I think it's good for us to have a little time apart too and for the boys to have time together without me.

It's been interesting to experience being pregnant here. In the UK with K, it was straightforward, you go to the doctor and they arrange midwife appointments, scan dates, everything for you. You just show up at the right place and time. Here, it's another story. Luckily I have a friend here who is due to have her baby anytime now and she was my first confidant. She had her first child here and could offer practical advice on the first steps.

Now I've had some scans (quite a lengthy process of sitting around in hot waiting rooms in Pondy), got a midwife (an experienced woman who has delivered many babies here in AV) and am hoping to have a homebirth - a far cry from my first experience. It's important to me to make this experience different from my first, it'll very likely be my final pregnancy. Having K took so long, I wasn't calm, I wasn't working with my body and so it was tough. I am reading a book called Spiritual Midwifery which is about home-births in the 70s in a commune in the US. It's a good read, once you get past the 'far-out' hippy language used. There is sense in it and I hope I can apply it when the time comes.

Anyway, quite a long post but that's where my head's been at these past months. I'll try to be back soon with a more general update.

With love, Laura.

Holidays and the new year

Again, my blog took a backseat over the festive season and beyond. Our 3 weeks in Goa were spent with very little internet access which was bliss. I needed to disconnect from work and the usual communications. C and I had a difficult few months too which discouraged me from writing. Hey, we all prefer to write about happy things, right? We're back on track now and I've been glad to be home after our holidays. 

It's the first real length of time I've had away from AV since we moved here and to come back made me really see how much I view this place as home. The peaceful green, lush beauty of this place, mostly free from litter even surpasses the tropical holiday vibes of Goa. 

We spent our time in the North of Goa where C's dad lives. The beaches are lovely and we spent part of every day by the sea. 

Vagator

Arambol

Ashvem

Christmas day sunset


We stayed at C's dad's house for the first 10 days as he had to go away on some business which helps lower the cost of our trip plus allowed us the use of a kitchen and his motorcycle.

We visited a waterpark (to K's joy),

and moved to a nice place called Lotus Inn for the second part of our holiday. We'd stayed there before so knew we'd have this lovely pool to enjoy.

I spent a little alone time at the Anjuna market looking at all the stalls and picking up a bargain or two.

We also spent some quality time with C's dad which was wonderful as we've not seen him in 2.5 years. He and K really got along well. Then it was time to say goodbye and head back to our sleeper train to Chennai.

Since we've been back, I've been on a bit of a health kick, lots of fresh fruit smoothies and salads (it's the best time of year for fresh local produce and it's wonderful). We've all been cycling more as well which can't help but make you feel good. We have some truly lovely shaded forest cycle paths running the length and breadth of Auroville. I'm working hard but still loving what I do and the baking side business is still going well too.

For now I'll close, sorry it's been so long but I'll be back soon with more updates from here. Until then here is a lotus to brighten your day.

Laura.

Hello!

Oh my, how time flies! I don't intend to leave it so long between posts...honest!

I've been so wrapped up in work, play and home life that I'm usually worn out by the time it comes to catching up on here.

I am working on a brand new website for the organisation where I work which, as project manager, means I have had lots to do including maintaining communication with the web designers who are based in Germany, making 'wire-frames', and treading the fine line between making executive decisions and allowing the team to all have their say. Been just a bit stressful but we're into the content phase now which, once it's done with, our part should be over for a time. It's been fun too and I'm learning a lot.

I started Zumba classes twice a week in the evening. I did a little in the UK and loved it but hadn't done it in a class environment before (it was easier from the safety of my living room!). It's been great! I've been looking for a good exercise for getting my heart-rate up and the class environment pushes you to actually do it – I find it waaaaay too easy to let things slip if left to my own devices!

We've also been going through a bit of a tough time with K. He seems to be going through a rough patch, lots of frustration, screaming and crying. We've been trying to be patient but to have a fuss each and every morning about having a shower, getting dressed, having breakfast, getting to school etc starts to wear you down. I have to admit, I'm not well equipped to deal with high intensity negative emotion as my own childhood was full of it so it gives me the realisation that I need to work on myself in order to help him. Not easy but I think we'll get there. There is always ups and downs.

I've been baking lots too. C's café are still selling my cakes and in a bid to cater to the influx of guests and tourists, I've been adapting some recipes to be vegan. I didn't realise how much I enjoyed it and it's a wonderful feeling when you hear that your vegan apple crumble sold out in one evening! I have plans for the new year for a number of new treats and have been inspired by a work colleague who is not only vegan but has a gluten free diet so I have a whole stack of GF flours to 'play' with.

On Friday we're heading to Goa for 3 weeks! I am incredibly excited...or at least I will be once we're on the train and I can forget about all the 'things' I have to do. We were going to see C's dad who lives there but he will be away for the first 2 weeks renewing his visa so he's let us stay at his house and use his motorbike so it's saving us a tonne of cash (it's peak season in Goa). We'll find somewhere nice for the last week and enjoy seeing C's dad for the first time since our wedding 2.5 years ago.

I also treated myself to a new smart-phone with the last of my birthday money, as a staunch Nokia basic phone user for many years, it's been a steep learning curve. I now have an instagram account if you want to 'follow' me >>> http://instagram.com/dandelioness1/

I'm struggling to feel festive, it wasn't too bad last year but this year, maybe because we're going to be away I just can't get into the spirit. There are parts I don't miss, like rushing around for presents but I kind of miss the cold, the excitement in the air, the food and general snuggly feeling. it's too hot for that here!

Anyway, I have to sign off as it's already 9.30pm and I've not stopped all day!

Wishing everyone a happy Christmas and a wonderful new year. 

L xx

Catching up!

My blog has been neglected this past month. Sometimes words flow and other times they just don't. Anyway, the boys have gone into town for fireworks for the Diwali celebrations today and tomorrow so I have a moment to catch up.

The day after my birthday was the beginning of the 2 week half term for K. As a working mum, I have mixed feelings about school holidays, I put too much pressure on myself to try and maintain my usual workload at the same time as taking time off to be with my son. This made it rather stressful and serves as a reminder to me to slow down and give myself a break, sometimes the work just has to be put on hold.

The first day back to school, the 6th of Oct was K's 5th birthday.

It doesn't feel so long ago that he was this big



 Coming to festivals with us from 8 months

With his bright and shining personality.

I'm so proud of how he's grown and dealt with the changes that we've encountered in this past year. He's becoming much more aware of himself and is surprising us all the time.

 

I made a special birthday puja for him before anyone else woke up and filled the house with flowers from the garden.

Opening his biggest present in the morning!

He went off to school with a bag of sweets to share with the whole school as is the custom here and we had a small birthday party at our house in the afternoon for his specially selected friends. It all went really well, me and C struggle a bit with kids parties - last year we'd not long arrived in India so were ill prepared but this time we had a paddling pool out, a treasure hunt planned and a good mix of kids.

Hunting for clues in the community garden...

Cake time!

My new favourite chocolate cake recipe.
 

He had a great time as did the other kids which is what matters and we were all asleep by 8-9pm. Funny how a 2 hour kids party seems to drain energy more than anything!

 

Since then we've been plodding along. Mostly working and then home stuff like the garden, cooking etc. Until a week ago, the weather was still really hot and humid so have been dealing with heat rash and living in a permenantly sweaty state which might have contributed to my lack of interest in blogging!

 

I have seen some interesting bugs recently, mainly caterpillars.

 

Beautiful red dragonfly

A hitchhiker on my motorbike

A hairy caterpillar whose hair gives you a very nasty sting if they touch you, these also like to dangle from trees on threads!

An interesting horny caterpillar on my kumquat tree on the balcony

A spotty one on the front step

 

I finally visited the Matrimandir alone for the first time a few weeks back. I'd only previously been twice, once on each visit to Auroville and whilst it was a wonderful experience, it's nothing compared to going in alone and really connecting (or should that be disconnecting???) with you and the universe. As a guest to AV there is a whole process to visiting and I wanted to wait until I was fully integrated into the community before going in. I had planned to visit on our 1 year anniversary of arriving in AV but I had a cough at the time and couldn't go as it's a place for silent contemplation, even breathing sounds loud! 

 

One path to the underneath of the Matrimandir

Hard to give an impression of the magniture of the structure

The lotus pond beneath the Matrimandir.

I had a beautiful experience, sat in silence, trying to observe and gain clarity to some recent events. I now feel a better sense of direction and it inspired me to start volunteering one morning of Matrimandir duty a week. I just do an hour between 7-8am on a Tuesday. My job is to sit outside the main entrance to the Matrimandir and check who is going in. It's only really for Aurovilians at that time of the day so there isn't much to do but there is an occasional guest with a pass to check but mainly it's just a lovely place to sit and a lovely time to be outside. My duty was cancelled this morning but should be back on next week.



Since last Thursday we've been experiencing real monsoon rains, it's rained almost constantly. This morning we were informed that 91cm of rain has fallen in the past 5 days. This is amazing news as the past few years have yielded very little rain. It refills the village wells and ponds as well as our own AV reserves. It's been drier today but might still rain some more. I genuinely love enjoying the rain so much, it is a refreshing attitude and one I can't imagine having back in the UK.

 

We just bought a hammock chair which has been my favourite monsoon viewing spot

 

 It's been lovely!

 

Other than that we have been planning our trip to Goa. We were struggling with finding the right dates to go but have settled on going over the school Christmas holidays so that K doesn't miss his school end of term performance. He'll miss the first week back in Jan as we plan to go for 3 weeks but it seems less of an issue. We have booked an overnight direct train from Chennai to Goa which is the best option for us. Flying is quicker but considerably more expensive and there were cheaper options but it involved 2 days travel which eats into our holiday time. It will be nice to have a break and also to see C's dad who lives there. Can't wait!

 

Tomorrow is Diwali and tonight we will go to Bharat Nivas for the kids fireworks fun. See this post for a bit on last years event: http://ourindiaventure.blogspot.com/2013/11/hi-there.html

 

 

Anyway, think we're all up to date now. More soon I hope!

 

Love, Laura.