Tuesday, 14 April 2015

The reason for my absence these past weeks...

Hi there, it's been an interesting few months and I've been so caught up in things that I've hardly been in the right place for communicating. Finally I feel it's a good time, we have a day off work as it is Tamil new year. It rained last night for the first time in about 4 months. There is a sweet, wet scent in the air, the morning sun is shining and I have some Banco de Gaia playing as I type.

At the end of Jan, I discovered that me and C are expecting our second child. It was unexpected but we're not unhappy about it as I always felt we had room for another in our family and although C always said 1 was enough, he is also happy. K will be almost 6 when this one arrives and we feel good about the timing. We're settling well here and this brings a new richness to our experience.

I found out early on, at just 5 weeks. My time and work at Eco Femme has given me a better insight into my body's cycles and changes during the months. We had to keep things quiet until 12 weeks as those first weeks are where the risk of something going wrong is most high. I'm not good at keeping secrets so became a little reclusive to get used to the idea and to bide my time.

I had just a little nausea in those beginning months, nothing much although I had none at all with K. Now at 4 months I am feeling good and have the beginnings of a bump starting (at the stage where I just look overweight!). 'Pregnancy brain' has kicked in and I'm very absent minded - it's quite a zen-like feeling. I'm constantly in the present!

The other big news is that we had planned to visit the UK as a family in winter but with this little one coming in Sept/Oct we decided that I would make a quick visit alone in May to see all my family and friends before coming back to have the baby here and to remain here for the next few years. I'm excited to visit after almost 2 years away. I will miss my boys who will stay here, but I think it's good for us to have a little time apart too and for the boys to have time together without me.

It's been interesting to experience being pregnant here. In the UK with K, it was straightforward, you go to the doctor and they arrange midwife appointments, scan dates, everything for you. You just show up at the right place and time. Here, it's another story. Luckily I have a friend here who is due to have her baby anytime now and she was my first confidant. She had her first child here and could offer practical advice on the first steps.

Now I've had some scans (quite a lengthy process of sitting around in hot waiting rooms in Pondy), got a midwife (an experienced woman who has delivered many babies here in AV) and am hoping to have a homebirth - a far cry from my first experience. It's important to me to make this experience different from my first, it'll very likely be my final pregnancy. Having K took so long, I wasn't calm, I wasn't working with my body and so it was tough. I am reading a book called Spiritual Midwifery which is about home-births in the 70s in a commune in the US. It's a good read, once you get past the 'far-out' hippy language used. There is sense in it and I hope I can apply it when the time comes.

Anyway, quite a long post but that's where my head's been at these past months. I'll try to be back soon with a more general update.

With love, Laura.